i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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