I looked at my own cervix.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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