No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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