If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
