Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
