You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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