It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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