And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
