Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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