Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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