Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Randomize
