the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
