I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
