girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Did I show you my penis last night?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
