I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
40s are totally the cure
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
