i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Barsexuality is the new black.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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