im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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