ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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