just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
