last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
