I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
