she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize