Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
