Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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