Don't you send me to vm
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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