Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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