Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
