I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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