He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
