mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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