He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
