but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
