Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
