ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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