Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
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