she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
