Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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