Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
