So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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