She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
