i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
