We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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