How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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