i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
