Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
