I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
