oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
