Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
