just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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