You're completely useless in the revolution.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
