You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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