Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
